It has been a very difficult time getting into the spirit of Christmas this year (did I mention that already?). It is easy to be gay and count you blessings when life isn't hurling smoking hot chestnuts at your noggin. What about the years when everywhere you turn it seems like you are stepping in another pile of poo? Then Christmas comes along and it turns out that reindeer poop smells just like regular poop.
Mr. Bear Slipper's mother is back in the hospital. She was having some problems this morning and wasn't feeling well. She ended up being checked into the hospital and could be there for a week or more if she needs surgery. There is a little bit of back story to this... In August of 2007 Mother Bear Slippers got very ill while on a seaside vacation to celebrate her birthday with her husband. This illness turned into a marathon hospital stay that devastated her family and stretched to nearly a year (honestly, it felt longer). Miraculously, medical science has come far enough that a person no longer requires a pancreas to live and once she was out of the hospital she merely required insulin injections and digestive enzyme pills to survive. Perhaps F. Bear Slippers deluded herself into thinking that Mother Bear Slippers was completely out of the woods. You see, Mr. Bear Slippers is close to his mother and watching him as he tried to comfort her (even spending nights by her side), for so long was devastating to me. I wanted so much to be able to make everything better, and I felt utterly useless. At several points I was preparing my self for the devastation that would be caused by her death. Frankly, to this day I feel that her survival was a miracle. Some how she pulled through it and eventually, she was home.
Maybe I tried to minimize her health problems because it would be too difficult to deal with more illness. I mean, it isn't like Mother Bear Slippers is a little old lady. She is a spry woman that could barely be considered outside of middle-age. I want to see her as invulnerable and healthy, but I suppose it is not as I thought. It is very sad that of all the days she needed to go to the hospital it would be on Christmas Eve, though I don't think that it would really be any easier if it had been April 4th, or June 29th. But when it is already difficult to catch that holiday cheer, this makes it even more troublesome. I am wondering how Mr. Bear Slippers is going to handle it. He is a tough guy who is well prepared for pretty much anything that life has to throw at him, but his mom seems push a button with him. For the moment, I will continue to pray that Mother Bear Slippers gets better very quickly and that she will not require surgery. I also pray for perspective to be able to remember the sacrifices of my Savior in order to ease the burden that I carry. Some people feel that prayer is silly, but I find great solace in it and I do feel like it helps.
So, there you have it. Christmas in the Bear Slippers house is cracking up to be a doozy.
But on the upside, Baby Bear Slippers got a DNA experiment kit (complete with three speed centrifuge) which I am very much looking forward to helping her with. I received a kit to grow carnivorous plants which should be fun. I saw it at Toys R Us when we were looking for gifts for a friend's birthday party and I really wanted it. Baby Bear Slippers went back with her dad later and bought it for me with her own money. Isn't that sweet? I know that I am blessed. I just hope that Mother Bear Slippers comes out of this problem healthier than ever.
Merry Christmas to everyone.
F. Bear Slippers.
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